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How To Date Ann Coulter (If You Must) by: Kenn Gividen I've decided to go public with my intentions: I will not be asking Ann Coulter for a date. There are some good reasons. First, I'm married. Second, there is a substantial age differential. And, third, I fear rejection. While reading Coulter's book, How to Talk to Liberals (If You Must), I thought about the prospects. A single, middle-aged guy who's still trying to look like he's in his 20s would make a perfect match. But before you pick up the phone to pop the question, there are some things you need to know. Keep in mind, for example, that Ann Coulter is relatively good looking. 'Relative to what?' you ask. 'A '58 Buick? Tapioca? Phyllis Schlafly?' Yes. You'll also want to know that Coulter was born and raised in the Bubba Belt. That's important. Not because she's Ann Coulter, but because it's a date. Any guy who's opened the door for feminist, been called a chauvinist and then jabbed with an upper right (knee) knows all about this. Coulter is no feminist. You will open the door for her. And if you don't, you may get jabbed with an upper right. And that brings me to another announcement. Thursday, April '1
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